and we are magic talking to itself

to my organ, who is gone

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:28:46 GMT

dear appendix,

i will miss you on those cold winter nights, nights i will spend without you, lamenting your loss, remembering what we had. no one will ever replace you. i will never have another appendix, not ever. they always say you will find another, you will, this isn't the last, but god, i swear, i will never have another appendix.

Tyler: I guess if their is any form of silver lining it's you will never have to have your appendix out again, your relationship with you appendix is at a end, it won't be calling you in a month crying and telling you that you were the best body it was ever in...

no matter how much you tell me that you've changed, that you're not sick anymore, i will never take you back. i know there will never be another like you, never be anyone who takes your place, but i don't believe that you will ever change. you will never be right for me. you abused me. you put me in the hospital for three days. they had to give me a double dose of the medicine they give to chemo patients, and then an IV drip of it. my pulse was 144. oh appendix! i've never been in so much pain. not even dilauded could take away the pain you put me in, and that is 8 times stronger than morphine. do you know what that's like, appendix? i cried. i cried and cried. it hurt so much. i'm sorry, but we're over. we're done. you were never of any use to me anyway! what good were you for? did you ever do anything for me other than to hurt me? no.

it's over. but oh appendix, i didn't even get to say goodbye...

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 20:00:21 GMT

i will admit, i don't know my way. the forest is dense and the path once worn is thick with overgrowth. i abandon my gaze and let my footsteps take me. right foot, left foot, right, i trip over treeroots that braid through the ground, empty veins of the surrounding woods. i catch myself and feel the warm earth in my hands. brushing the dirt off my raw skin and banishing the fear in my chest i start over again.

the map is still folded in my pocket, creased brown with age. i pause for rest and read it over. i can see where they've been, but i forge my own way. closing my eyes i stumble awkwardly, right foot, left foot, right. every traveler has marked their own trail, but i step over the treaded leaves and seek fresher ground. the white stones hansel scattered glow brightly in the light of the sliver of moon, tears dropped delicately in the dust to illuminate my way. i smile at the care that was bound in every single one and step lightly over them. i hear the dry bones of branches snap under my feet, right foot, left foot, right. thank you i whisper to no one in particular, but i have to find my own way.

i've never been here before, but i walk with conviction and direction without the pause of disbelief. the world turns blue with the dawn and my quickened breath carves cold morning air into my lungs. the twisted sillouettes of the forest seem to draw closer, while the wind through the trees whispers its questions. of course i am scared i answer back, but i am home. i feel embraced by the branches, folliage cradling me gently and with unmeasurable care. though i am lost in a sense, i am not. i will mark my own path and draw my own map, just as you have. the morning cracks and breaks like a golden egg over the curved horizon. though the forest is dense and the path once worn is thick with overgrowth, i can still see the sun through the leaves, lighting my way.

i will admit, i am wandering. right foot, left foot, right, i stumble like the fool of the arcana. i balance precariously and grin to myself. i lock my fears in my head and fold the map in my pocket. i know i know nothing about this place i whisper to no one in particular, but i have to find my own way.

survey time!

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 03:10:59 GMT

stolen from ravennightworld

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.

4) Favorite drink?
A.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A.

6) What was the last book you read?
A.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A.

9) Worst Habit?
A.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A.

18) What was your first impression of me?
A.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A.

22) What eyecolor do you have?
A.

23) Ever been arrested?
A.

24) What's your real name/nickname?
A.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A.

26) Bottle or can soda?
A.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.

34) What will your grandchildren say about you to their children?
A.

35) Do you believe in God?
A.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A.

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 20:29:37 GMT

oh my god. sweeney todd was fucking amazing. see it now (or when it actually comes out, if you didn't get prescreening passes like i did because i'm AWESOME.) also, go dressed up as though you are out of a tim burton movie. sandy and i did. i went with him and gina and simon, and it was the best thing ever.

spoiler alert: johnny depp does not have a hot makeout scene with alan rickman. DAMNIT.

seeing stars

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:10:40 GMT

i seem to be writing more in my myspace blog lately, so y'all should read that. i'm going to copy and paste, because i'm too tired to retype it. it was quite a night last night, but in the best way. michelle, amanda, and i went to sf to see the band stars.

after buying expensive train tickets, taking the amtrak and walking in san francisco in the cold, we finally found the club. it was sold the fuck out. should have known.

however, one of the sound guys spotted us and came back with 3 vip all access passes, for free. so after the stars show, which was one of the most amazing shows i've ever seen, we got to go backstage and to the afterparty and make fools of ourselves in front of the music industry people, the roadies, and the band. mostly there was a lot of standing in the corner and awkwardly sipping beer and wondering why there were so many containers of soup on the table and how they would go about consuming it (take tomato bisque shots, perhaps?) but in the end, we met a lot of interesting people who were very friendly, as well as some that were rather drunk and loud, but still fantastic.

the show would have been spectacular by itself. they're such accomplished musicians... i liked them, but i really had no idea how amazing they were. some bands you really don't know until you hear them live. the music just melts over you, and it's like the angels are singing. it was just what we all needed that day, a perfect moment when they whisper to you words that describe everything.

finally, we've been rewarded for being stupid and unprepared.

fog and feathers

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 05:10:56 GMT

my mind is swimming with a terrible headache. i can barely see what i'm writing. perhaps athena will jump out of my head.

last night was terrible. it seemed as though there were flies everywhere, feeding on everyone because they were all dead. everything was bloodstained and messy, and my heart beat so fast i thought it would crack. people were laughing and laughing and wouldn't stop.

and it's the first day i've felt well enough to venture back into the outside world. physically i mean, though i suppose mentally things have been better too. i went shopping today and took photographs.

a grasshopper. he was a total myspace whore, posing and everything.

the river, taken from a moving car.

the peacock felt so out of place, standing in front of a rusty pickup truck. it kept running away and not letting me take its picture. meany.

voltaire in concert.

HE HAS HIS OWN FOGMASTER™! i only hope that one day i'm so famous that i can afford a fogmaster™ of my very own. that's when you know you've truly made it, the day you get your fogmaster™. i'm SO FUCKING JEALOUS, except that shit hurts my eyes. but of course, if i had my own fogmaster™, it would be surrounding my feet in mysterious "fog" and everyone else would be choking on it, not me. i'd be shakin my groove thang and they'd be like "wow, that chick is hella mysterious and gothic. and why the fuck can't i breathe?"

those things make clubs HELL. concerts too, specifically the sisters of mercy, who have a passionate love affair with fog machines that rivals romeo and juliet, an epic love like you can't even imagine. it's not fog those things make, it's smoke, like nothing you've ever inhaled before, because it's nothing you ever should. you get 10 goth points for ever hour you can breathe that stuff before you have convulsions and die.

still, i'm asking santa for my very own fogmaster™. if he brings me coal i'll just stick it in a box and light it on fire and make my own damn "fog machine."

my reflection, dirty mirror...

there's no connection to myself...

ouch. headache. must go...

♥

a day in the life of the pumpkins

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 01:48:55 GMT

that's billy in his hotel room, writing a song. if you watch the video, you might see a picture draped over the chair next to him. i drew that. i gave that to him. at best, i thought he might like it okay and put it in a pile with the gifts he has received, or glaced at it before handing it off to someone else to put it away. but there it is.

maybe it doesn't mean much, but it means something to me.

♥

pumpkinheads

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 04:30:29 GMT

so, 5 shows have gone by in a flash. i don't have much time for a real update so i'll just give some highlights:

1. catching billy's guitar pick, and michelle catching jimmy's when he played acoustic guitar on "zeitgeist."
2. having elina come from sweden to see the show with me, arriving at 6 in the fucking morning so we could be sure to be up front, and meeting him afterwards. if you remember, i asked billy during his solo tour to write a get well card for elina because she was in the hospital with the brain tumor, and he took the time to write it and was very sweet and sympathetic. i got to give it to her, and she's kept it with her. the cancer came back for the third time, but this time she got gamma knife radiation instead of surgery and regular radiation, and it hasn't come back yet, so apparently the get well card worked :) she thanked him for writing it, and he asked her if she was better, and when she said yes he smiled very sweetly and said "that's good!" i gave him a picture that i had drawn while in line, and tentatively said "i'd like you to have this, if you would please accept it." he said "of course, thank you" and then paused to look at it closely, and said, surprised, "wow, this is really nice! thank you" smiled, and nodded/bowed slightly, the way he often does. that's the only night i've seen him be receptive to fans and actually spend time, not just going "okay..." and looking creeped out/bored. i guess we're just very lucky to have such a special experience.
3. being interviewed for the official fillmore pumpkins dvd and making a fool of myself. watch for it, but try not to laugh too much. i'm not sure if i would be disappointed or relieved if i'm not on it. it's hard to sum up thoughts on the pumpkins when you have a mic on your shirt and a camera in your face.
4. meeting all the fans, making lots of new friends, being hit on shamelessly (okay, so maybe that last thing wasn't a highlight..)
5. seeing THE SMASHING PUMPKINS!!!!!!

i must go now, but i'll try to write something more later. all my love ♥

it's all because of you, baby

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Fri, 11 May 2007 08:48:14 GMT

exactly a year ago today, i tried to kill myself.
it is my proudest failure.

so you want us to write something on the cake?

yes... emily, happy anniversary since you tried to slit your wrists.

okay... so is that emily with a y, or two e's?

happy anniversary. i'm still here, and i love it. i fucking love it.

shhh

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 02:37:08 GMT

this idea was taken from psycho_peanut. i've done something similar before, but i thought it would be interesting to do it again.

post anonymously, telling whatever secrets you feel like revealing. i will turn of IP logging so i won't know who posted what. there will be no drama, no being rude to anyone because of the secrets they've posted.

confess!

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 19:56:08 GMT

merry christmas!

the wii

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 20:13:53 GMT

you might think the coolest place to be on a friday night was a bar or a dance club, but you'd be wrong. the coolest place to be on a friday night is camped out in front of a walmart in elk grove (duh.) and not necessarily because you are homeless, but because you are waiting in line with your brother to buy the wii.

what is the wii, you might ask? for all you n00bz out there (yea, that's right, i said it), the wii is the new nintendo system that is coming out that my brother sam has been waiting a billion million years for. he's watched all the conventions, trailors, played the sample systems the day they came out, read about it everyday, etc. he's been so fucking excited i was worried he might explode, sending little bits of person flying through the air. luckily that hasn't happened yet, but it's still a possibility.

last night we went to scope it out, since this is one of the only stores with a midnight release, and there were already people in line. so, we decided to camp out. thank god we went, because there are very few systems and they're all already called for. i wandered around the store in an ambien and nicotine haze as my mom tried to set up a tent and failed, and sam played gameboy and d.s. games with all his fellow geeks. the tent finally got set up (sort of) and we slept there until morning.

this is probably one of the most hardcore things i've ever done that i will brag about to everyone i meet.

me: yea, this one time i slept on the sidewalk in front of a walmart in order to get a videogame system.
person: who are you and why are you talking to me?

i'm not even getting one, nor do i care very much, but i'm just so fucking excited for sam, because this is pretty much his life. he couldn't sleep last night because he was just lying in the tent grinning like it was christmas eve.

this morning my mom and i drove home, but sam is still sitting and waiting until midnight tonight. we'll be back later, too, i just needed a bit of a break, because i want to change my clothes and my neck hurts like fuck.

i'm just glad sam doesn't care so much about getting the playstation 3, because riots have broken out, people have gotten shot, thrown hammers, been robbed at gunpoint, and they resold one for $10,000. insane.

bye for now ♥

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 03:13:01 GMT

i have to go, but i'll write more later (soon, hopefully), and perhaps some pictures too.

for now, happy halloween!

hello

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 04:46:30 GMT

hello all my lovely people. i will try to recount recent happenings but you have to bear with me because i'm a liittle bit drunk (that's the problem with drinking 90 prof like it's 80 prof.)

anyway, the bad news is my grandpa is in the hospital because of an accident. the part of his brain that deals with balance is damaged, you see, so he fell and broke his back. he's in a lot of pain and morphine isn't doing anything, but the doctors think he'll be okay. he'll be in the hospital for awhile and then at a rehab center, so let's all send him wonderful thoughts to make him get better. i hate seeing my mom so sad and stressed about this.

the good news is i just went to sushi with my friends, which was very nice. also, i've been moving stuff into my apartment, and it's really coming together. that's most of what i've been doing lately is getting all that set up. it will be really nice to move out, finally. i've wanted this for so long, and only now am i truly ready.

so here i am, drunk as a duck (?), eating apple sauce with cinnamon, hoping you all are doing well, because you mean so much to me.

thanks for reading. bye bye ♥

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 23:44:43 GMT

alright, so my blood pressure was 70/40 (that means i got to ride in the wheelchair. yay)

my legs hurt so much, but i'm regaining back my mind. that's good i suppose.

grr, i'm a bear

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 06:02:04 GMT

apparently i got horrible tendonitis in both wrists from a) taking the pill and b) going bowling but that's totally totally okay because a) at least i'm not having babies and b) i totally kicked ass in bowling.

today i hung out with elle_rahen and we watched anime, went to the cafe, went to the park and swung on the swings, and saw metridious, redrounin, and kthnx__ownt (see how i'm lj-name dropping just because i can?) i walked to the park to meet up with john and upon getting there found out he had gone home, but i got a lovely walk out of it. tomorrow i'm helping kyle to do community service where i work because he's a criminal, obviously. right after that i'm going to sf with manyasone1 so this time if i'm gone for awhile i haven't done anything stupid that forces me to get sent to the hospital, thank you very much. instead i will be having an awesome time in sf buying awesome things and going to awesome places with awesome people.

also, i'm going to make a bearsuit, and it's going to rock harder then your bearsuit. i'm tempted to just buy the one lain has except for that it's probably expensive and i'll probably get more costume points (at jiselle's costume/graduation party) if i make it myself. but... i do still want lain's bearsuit, too. both are nice. i'm sure i will make a very formidable bear.

other things: i've been living off peaches, diet soda, and cereal, crying for no reason (and for every reason), becoming paranoid again, dreaming about getting arrested but outsmarting everyone, and yelling at my family and then apologizing profusely and meaning both things equally. i don't even notice the seroquel anymore, i love drinking tea, and there are now baby birds in our plum tree. every week i buy candy for my schizophrenic friends, and everyday i watch cooking shows, even though none of the recipes are actually vegan. just 14 days until london. then, everything will be perfect, i promise.

that's all for now. goodnight angels.

public entry, oh em gee

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 02:43:34 GMT

this entry is illustrated for your viewing pleasure. though, i can't take credit for any of the images.

i haven't been doing much really, or nothing new anyways. i went to the antique faire, crossroads, and thrift town with twentykicks and bought pretty lacey things. working, singing, drawing, driving around, the usual. finished sandman, started back with reinaldo arenas and some manga that i forgot the name of. discovered that i'm very bad at dealing with sleep deprivation. someone called me crazy, someone else called me pretty.

do you ever think of your emotions as bubbles? sometimes they burst so suddenly i can't make sense of them. i was having lots of despair bubbles last night and this morning, but tonight lots of happiness bubbles. bubbly bubbly happiness, pop pop pop.

i think i first started noticing them during ativan withdrawal. most everything from that time in my ilfe i've completely forgotten. that's good though, i don't want to remember.

lately i can't stop listening to 1979. it's so melty and delicious. i could listen to it forever and never tire of it. and today as i was listening, a rainbow peeked out of the clouds. it was perfect

quizzes:

Which Sandman Character are You?

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Which Courtney Love are you?

You're teenage whore Courtney. Her style from about 1991 to 1993. You're loud, crazy and young.
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Which Celtic Tree are you?

You are the Willow Tree.You have great wisdom and creative skill.
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Full Metal Alchemist Character Quiz

Alphonse Elric
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Which Card Captor Sakura wizard are you?

You're Sakura!
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Take the "You're Senshi Who" Quiz at Wishing Moon.

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Which Greek god/goddess are you?

Aphrodite
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What San-X Character Are You?

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Which of the Nine Muses is your muse?

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a terrible melancholy bubble just popped. i think i'm going to go shower and drink some vodka.

bye for now.

st. william patrick corgan's day

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:56:01 GMT

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear billy corgan
happy birthday to you!

secrets

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 22:18:58 GMT

tell me a secret. make your comment anonymous. i've turned off IP logging so your secrets are safe. one of these secrets will be my own.

edit 2/22/06: IP logging is back on so you probably don't want to reply to this post as of today.

taken from tragicfolklore

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 02:06:27 GMT

ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

- No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless.
- I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
- Repost this to see what others ask you

happy happy happy

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Sun, 25 Dec 2005 02:58:46 GMT

happy holidays everybody.

oh yes, and i'm still open to doing more music/music video sharing, if anyone has anything they want to see or hear.. so let me know :)

1. last chance for a slow dance – sex gang children
3. the rapture - siouxsie and the banshees
6. walk away - the sisters of mercy
9. surrender - lycia
12. just like honey - jesus and mary chain
13. opium tea - nick cave and the bad seeds
14. dance me to the end of love - leonard cohen
18. from safety to where..? - joy division
20. deathwish - christian death

but you all guessed more than i expected, so good job on that

bye for now :)

a public entry, oh my

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 23:14:09 GMT

stolen from porcelina__

1. Put your playlist on shuffle.
2. Post lyrics from the first 20 songs under an LJ cut.
3. See who can guess the song title and artist
4. When someone guesses the title and artist correctly, strikeout the song.

1. One step I'm nearer, alright, two steps I'm gone
Sing time in an empty hall, sing on, sing on

2. I’ll see you smile as you call my name
Start to feel, and it feels the same (maybe someday by the cure, as guessed correctly by bellydancindan)

3. Mystic majestic entangled in a web of iridescent curling vapour thread

4. ~~The loudness, the silence, the sweetness, the violence~~ (into the sky by switchblade symphony, as guessed correctly by smallescape)

~~5. Yesterday the sky was you~~ (drown by the smashing pumpkins, as guessed correctly by porcelina__)

6. Now you gaze toward the doorway
When the weather comes falling down

7.Bite the face of piety, kiss your mother's broken spirit
There is nothing, not even shame (sebastiane by sex gang children, as guessed correctly by porcelina__)

8. Hey, now my sight is failing in this twilight
Da da da da da da da da da
Now my death is more than just a sad song (reality by david bowie, as guessed correctly by twentykicks)

9. Fall with me into the arms of angels, the feather touch of kisses

10. Time and again I tell myself
I’ll stay clean tonight
But the little green wheels are following me
(Oh no, not again) (ashes to ashes by david bowie, as guessed correctly by twentykicks)

11. In you I see dirty
In you I count stars
In you I feel so pretty
In you I taste god (ava adore by the smashing pumpkins, as guessed correctly by tragicfolklore)

12. I’ll be your plastic toy for you

13. I stand at the window and I look at the sea
And I am what I am, and what will be will be
I stand at the window and I look at the sea
And I make me a pot of opium tea

14. Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in

15. ~~And i'm so high not even you and all your love could bring me down~~ (half jack by the dresden dolls, as guessed correctly by tragicfolklore)

16. When it rains it pours down the back of a bitter son
Desperate for love and loves everyone (try try try - alternate version - by the smashing pumpkins, as guessed correctly by porcelina__)

17. ~~Destroy the mind, destroy the body, but you cannot destroy the heart~~ (an ode to no one by the smashing pumpkins, as guessed correctly by bellydancindan)

18. All the wheels that have turned,
The memories scarred and the vision is blurred

19. ~~I cut the thin skin of my ankles and the wind follows me like an army.~~ (en hiver by cinema strange, as guessed correctly by porcelina__)

20. No one outside knows, no one outside knows what it means to me to be set free

oh yes and i would be happy to share music again if there's anyone interested in that. anything you might want to hear?

yesterday i saw king kong and i must say it was very impressive. last night i didn't get any sleep though because i had nightmares about this man who had a scar on his face that looked like a butterfly and he was killing everyone and no one believed me. more nightmares followed, and i woke up and my room was filled with dead people with rotting flesh, and i was convinced my face was rotting off and i wasn't too happy about that. (would you be happy about that? i don't think so.)

ps. apparently what i'm experiencing and why i was in the hospital is probably from ativan withdrawal. so you guys don't become addicted to anything because withdrawal SUCKS (duh.)

the end!

trick-or-treat

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Tue, 01 Nov 2005 01:27:04 GMT

happy halloween!

she's scaring herself

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 19:37:59 GMT

i actually painted, and then i actually didn't rip it up or burn it or scream about how much i hate it. so i'm feeling good about that, even though there's acrylic paint under my fingernails that i can't seem to scrub off.

the night before last i dreampt about children dying, falling, and then burning. last night i dreampt about drowning, being pushed under very colorful water, following directions wrong, and getting my whole body sliced up in various patterns. it hurt quite a bit.

dollar sushi actually went alright :) the seroquel isn't giving me so much anxiety anymore. and the ativan helps.. apparently it must have given me amnesia when combined with the cogentin, but doesn't give me much amnesia otherwise... it's very strange to ride your bike after taking anti-anxiety medication. then who cares if you're hit by a car? you know that whatever happens will be okay. you can laugh at death and living a wasted life and feeling fragile and weak. it doesn't matter, and it's amusing that you could possibly think it did at one point. sometimes. sometimes it doesn't seem to work, or it only partially works. but they're wonderful when they really work.

the seroquel can make you hypoglycemic though, so i was shaking and shaking and got very dizzy since i'm apparently not eating so much.

stolen from _impossiblepain

1. Open a music player.
2. Go to 'all music'/'library'.
3. Hit shuffle/repeat/randomise.
4. Find photos of the first 10 artists/bands that come up [no repeats and no cheating].
5. Have people guess who the artists/bands are.

1.
(loveholic, guessed correctly by twentykicks)

2.
(bauhaus, guessed correctly by porcelina__)

3.
(cinema strange, guessed correctly by porcelina__)

4.
(lydia lunch, guessed correctly by porcelina__)

5.
(the answer is on the picture, but shhh)
(the smashing pumpkins, guessed correctly by porcelina__)

6.
(lycia, guessed correctly by _impossiblepain)

7.
(an incarnation of siouxsie - the creatures, the banshees, etc - guessed correctly by porcelina__)

8.
(the cure, guessed correctly by wretched__)

9.
(switchblade symphony, guessed correctly by porcelina__)

10.
(to be fair, that's only one person in the band, but they don't have that many great group photos)
(specimen, guessed correctly by porcelina__)

obviously most of my favorite bands love to take black and white pictures of themselves looking intense.

picture of the day by kupka

well, i should be going now, bye bye :)

ps. my dad got me into the group they would not let me into. he is badass
pps. i took quite a bit of that ativan and it's delicious, and made feel better after the scary man came to our door. he really was scary.

daybreak, nightfall, daybreak, nightfall...

whisperedfaces@yahoo.com — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 07:01:09 GMT

today i went to berkeley and it was lovely. traded in a lot of my clothes for quite a few new ones. mostly lace, almost everything had lace. and everything was black, white, or pink. i also got a sparkly black scarf, another tiara, and two cds: sex gang children - the dark archives and lydia lunch's teenage jesus and the jerks. oh, and the super cute siouxsie poster that i've tried to get 3 times before and they've been out. so i was very happy about that. oh yes, and the movie before night falls, which is a beautiful movie, for only $1. then there were two people wearing bauhaus shirts in one of the stores, and then in another they were playing the cure. a homeless man complimented me on my sisters of mercy shirt. the only people who have complimented me on my sisters of mercy shirts have been homeless. interesting fact.

the drive was beautiful on the way back.. the sun was shining down through the clouds in brilliant golden beams, just like corny paintings of heaven and sunsets, just like a cliche postcard. it was very pretty. when i was almost home i started feeling so strange, like my skin was crawling and i was being electrocuted, and i decided that a thunderstorm needed to happen, and then there was a thunderstorm, and now i feel better. the thunder was so loud. i love thunderstorms, though i'm very afraid of being electrocuted. it's strange too, because i used to run my hand along the electrical wires around the farm at the camp i used to go to.. it made it feel like your arm was bubbling and it tickled. but i'm very scared of being electrocuted now. i was electrocuted once, not by the fence but by a plug that was partially stuck into an outlet, and i decided i would do an experiment, ie touch the metal part. then my hand felt as though it was on fire and i couldn't move it too well for awhile. not a pleasant thing.

actually, my brother used to be obessed with electrical outlets. one of his aspergers-induced obsessions, that then turned into a phobia and he would scream and cover his eyes whenever he was around one. but for awhile he kept trying to stick his fingers in them and electrocute himself.

somehow yesterday i started thinking about one of my elementary school classmates. her name was nicole.. in the first grade she brought a picture of her sister to school for show and tell and proceeded to tearfully tell us about her sister had shot herself in the head merely a few days before. that was the first i ever heard of suicide. a few years later i did something that was probably "weird" or whatever, i don't even remember what it was, and nicole laughed and sighed and said "still the same old emily". that was the first time the thought ever crossed my mind that maybe people thought i was strange. nicole was nice though, i think she was my friend, though in hindsight it's difficult to say if she was a friend or not. everyone is your friend in elementary school. except for a few that is.. but even they would probably get invited to your birthday party.

magritte again. :) now i should be off, so goodbye.

ps. gothic clubs and the voltaire show should stop teasing me with their whole 18+/21+ thing. i especially want to go to glam/deathrock night :(

pps. in the morning i take 1 orange pill and 1 yellow pill and at night i take 2 white pills and 1 orange pill and sometimes i take 2 brick red pills or grey capsules or white capsules during the day depending.. and i can take 1 more yellow pill if need be. i used to name pills after their colors when i was little. the ones with sugary coating were my favorite. i like to suck on the sugary advils, and i like the bitter taste after the coating is gone.

edit: oh! and i take one pink one in the morning and night. how could i forget the pink ones?!

ppps. i still don't know what to be for halloween, tell me tell me...