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friends only [19 Dec 2033|10:24pm]
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well, not really... a some of this is public but most of it is private. so ask to be added if you'd like and i will probably say yes :)

but please, tell me who you are and why you would like to be added and all that lovely stuff.
158 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[19 Jan 2015|12:00pm]
hey gurl hey
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[16 Dec 2014|08:06pm]
posting so they don't close my account. hello :)
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[21 Nov 2014|04:50pm]
i want my grandpa to die, not because i don't love him, but because i do.

rest my love. stop all this suffering. be at peace.
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[01 Oct 2014|07:59pm]
just updating this so it doesn't get deleted. hey all!
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[16 Jun 2014|06:49pm]
i'm engaged! ohmygod
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[07 Feb 2013|07:38pm]
when you are in human sexuality at school and a guy yells "ewwww" at a gay scene in the movie your class is watching, it makes you very sad. true story.
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[19 Nov 2012|03:30pm]
my cat died. RIP macbeth, you will be missed. <3
1 chant| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[11 Sep 2012|05:54pm]
today is not like every other day. i think people pay too much attention to the atrocities of 9/11 sometimes while forgetting other things, and it's become too sensationalized, but at the same time i can't deny that it has affected my life. my first psychotic episode came shortly after the terrorist attacks (or whatever you conspiracy theorists think happened.) i don't know why, but i've always been very empathetic, and having the whole nation in fear and grieving obviously took a toll on my psychological state. i don't think it caused my illness, but it certainly was a trigger.

also, this is the 6 month anniversary since a good friend of mine passed away. ironically, suicide prevention day was yesterday, and he has been in my thoughts. i can't help but wish he was still here with us.

please, stay here with me. i love you all.
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[22 Aug 2012|04:24pm]
no matter how hard i try i still can't fathom the transactional interpretation. many worlds and copenhagen were more mystical and elegant but somewhat disproved by afshar's experiment, at least in the way they were presented, with the role of the observer and such. they're easier to understand for me at least, but that doesn't make them true, and one should never claim to follow a belief because it seems more metaphysical and interesting. still, i like the subjectivity of it all. but how does it explain the schrodinger paradox? inversed equations and whatnot?
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[18 Aug 2012|08:37pm]
i'm in manchester massachusetts by the sea. ahhhh.
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[10 Jun 2012|01:54pm]
RIP poe. you were the best kitty anyone could ever know. i miss you terribly
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[30 Mar 2012|01:45pm]
i have survivor's guilt. it could have been me. it almost WAS me. why wasn't it me?

i'm sorry i cut you out of my life. i had to. i had to stop doing drugs. i couldn't have them around me. i hope you understand. you must know i still loved you.

RIP dave, i miss you like crazy.
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[17 Dec 2011|01:34pm]
[ mood | high ]

a lot has happened. i have a lot of pain in my abdomen and have to take percocet. i was hospitalized for awhile and got put on clozaril, which is a miracle drug! i love my fiance dearly, and i'm over a year clean. my life is in a great place now, except for the pain, which should go away with this new medicine we found. love you all <3

i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[18 Sep 2011|07:54pm]
i'm engaged to the most amazing man in the world
i'm on clozaril and doing much better
i'm painting and writing again
i'm clean 10 months to the day
life is fingertips away from perfect.
1 chant| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[11 Aug 2011|09:22pm]
the funny farm isn't all that funny. and where are all the goats?
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[18 Sep 2010|09:39pm]
mina, my beloved kitten, is missing :(
1 chant| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[17 Aug 2010|10:05pm]
off to Mass Achoo! Sets (or mass a chew sets, both being legitimate spellings, though i'm sure you already know THAT.) gotta wake up at 5:30 am to get on the arrow plain. or a row plain, a plain that rows though the sky via MAGIC
1 chant| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[10 Aug 2010|07:04pm]
[ mood | sad ]

no matter if you are crazy or not, your response to the question "are you crazy?" will always be "no." after all, if you aren't, why say you are. and if you are, you're probably too lost to realize it. then, there's the limbo inbetween us, where i forget.

i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[03 Aug 2010|01:00am]
my head is full of insects and i feel the weight of the world on their footsteps. help me. it's hard to live like this.
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[15 Jul 2010|07:24pm]
nobody seems to know why i get so disoriented and can't remember anything. it's getting to be a huge problem and i can't get any answers.
3 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[21 Dec 2009|09:43am]
there is so much to write about i don't know where to start. just know i'm still alive and hopefully will be posting all about my crazy life later. love you!
8 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[26 Jul 2009|05:52pm]
i've been writing more song lyrics and coming up with a lot of short story ideas. i must get them down and write write write.

i threw out my hip somehow at the hyde concert and am in a lot of pain, but other than that things are good.

thank you to those who told me they still read my entries. that was not a cry for attention but it's still good to know.
4 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[25 Jul 2009|04:04pm]
i get the feeling no one reads this anymore. oh well, it's still good for me to write, to remember.

i had a bad psychotic episode. there were insects and insect carcasses everywhere. i could hear everyone's thoughts and the music, oh the music. i guess i'm staying on haldol for awhile. fuck.

i think it happened because i've been drinking too much. alcohol does that to me.

my band is going to be on tv in a few weeks, and we're not ready at all. after all, jonathan and i just got back to the states and we haven't had time to practice. i'm sure we'll get back on our feet though, we just need work.

that's all for now.
14 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage [19 May 2009|04:30am]

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Genalogy - Family search]

...barry pepper?

1 chant| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

i'm still alive [05 Mar 2009|01:21pm]
i've been having a bad episode and was up to taking 20 mg of haldol a day, but now i'm finally down to 4 mg and getting better. still, i've managed to make it to school everyday. i'm very proud of myself.

i got addicted to norco again, but i'm weaning myself off slowly. i hate sinus infection. my doctor wants me to get an MRI to make sure it's nothing more serious.

i might get one of my stories published in the book "sussurus." they're going to decide next week. i'm crossing my fingers but trying not to count on it.

someone in my class keeps telling me i'm the best poet he's ever read and that it's "emily bein and sylvia plath." it's weird but nice to have fans.

musically, stuff is going great. i've really enjoyed getting back into playing the keyboard and singing. unfortunately we're still looking for a bassist, and until then i can't paint a band photo, which i'm really looking forward to doing. i might have another art show soon, and i'm going to do paintings for my friends gina and cristos. so much to do!

i just wanted to let you know i'm still alive. i'll try to post in here more often.
2 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[01 Jan 2009|04:15am]
that was the best year of all my life. let's hope this one is as amazing.
1 chant| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[24 Nov 2008|12:37am]
my life is amazing. i'm in a writing group with the best and most devoted writers in my class. i'm getting straight As in school and dreaming about transfering to UC berkeley. i'm in a band that i feel passionate about, taking piano lessons and vocal lessons and greatly improving. i'm in love, and continue to fall more and more in love everyday. i have wonderful friends and i'm making some amazing new ones. my schizophrenia is in remission and i'm eating and taking care of myself. i've never been so happy in my life. i've finally found my place.
2 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

obama [04 Nov 2008|10:20pm]
4 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[07 Oct 2008|10:26pm]
[ mood | ouchy ]

taken from his_bee

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions.
3. You should then update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You should include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you should ask them 5 questions.

my questions and answers:

1) what is your favorite media for artwork? it's readily becoming oil paints, but i still really like acrylics and working in mixed media. often, i'll use acrylics over soft pastels or mix ink and watercolors
2) what is one item you can't live without when traveling? a notebook to write down ideas and journal
3) who is your favorite author? reinaldo arenas
4) what's your favorite design feature of your new house? the outside patio with a thatched roof and christmas lights
5) if you were to write a book, would it be fiction or nonfiction? either fiction or semi-autobiographical nonfiction. i'm somewhat working on a fiction novel right now - i've got it all planned out, but i haven't started writing it. hopefully i will soon though. i've just got to stop fearing failure and get writing! i'd love to publish a poetry book too.

6 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[27 Sep 2008|02:23am]
damn, mrsminnis beat me to the punch in posting the trailer for "if all goes wrong" (the documentary about the smashing pumpkins fillmore residency) i was interviewed extensively and ended up getting one word into the trailor.

i'm the one saying mayonaise. one of the most cliche song requests from fans, but i still wish they would have played it.

i wonder how much i'll be in the actual dvd. i'm kind of scared...
i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[25 Sep 2008|12:44pm]
stolen from chiikitten

"The problem with LJ is we all think we are so close, but really we know nothing about each other. Ask me something you think you should know about me, something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you."
6 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[29 Aug 2008|02:40am]
barack obama's speech was everything i wanted it to be. we've come so far, this country, and i cannot wait to see what our future will bring.
2 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[13 Aug 2008|06:04pm]
moving is so much work! my goodness. the house is really coming together though.

i had to go back on zoloft - it seems cutting my dose in half gets rid of the withdrawal and gives me energy without making me manic. i was crazy on the 50 mg dose - 25 is much better. and 50 is somewhat high to start on, so it makes sense now why i was having such trouble just going off of it cold turkey. last time i was on it was so long ago and i was at at least 150 mgs (for what they thought was ocd) so i really underestimated the effects of just this much. i was on so many less meds though, so it's very different.

my tummy hurts from not sleeping well. my body hurts from working so hard. i have until sunday, but i got a lot done today. i think i'll actually get everything out in time...

how are all of you doing?
4 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[04 Aug 2008|11:50am]
i underestimated our good friend zoloft. cute little zoloft, i thought of you as nothing next to all my other med friends, the antipsychotics, the MMA ultimate fighters and samurai warriors of haldol, seroquel, geodon, and klonopin when you seemed only a yellow belt in aikedo. but then you went and proved me wrong - i stopped taking you, and you gave me ELECTRICAL SHOCKS IN MY BRAIN. in my head, in my wrists, in my legs, especially when i stand or move, i get this feeling that is indescribable, like electricity. i thought there was something terribly wrong with me before figuring out what it was.

lesson number 1: don't go off zoloft cold turkey, even if you think the dose is really small and you can handle it, or you think it's "just an antidepressant". this is the second time i've been on it and the first i tapered down like a good girl and didn't get the shocks. this time i have them HARDCORE. you really don't want to get the zoloft shocks. they're terrible.

my days have been punctuated with seizures. funny. i think it has to do mostly with a lack of sleep because that's when it happens for me, and going off the zoloft must change my seizure threshold, i know a lot of things i'm on do and it would follow that withdrawal could do that. but come on, i don't even want to use the word withdrawal for this. i went through a month of hell because of benzos and had to go to the hospital with tremors and couldn't even sit up for weeks, had to lie in a fetal position by the fireplace and shiver. i went through a week of hell with opiates, having all sorts of terrible side effects. even with just being on the haldol for a little while i got some tardive dyskenesia symptoms when i went off (this is normal and goes away.) but zoloft... withdrawal? i underestimated you, dear zoloft.

i signed up for creative writing, oil painting lecture and lab, and biological psychology at the local college. i'm seeing amanda palmer's solo show on the 6th. today, i'm going to an interview to try to get the house i want with jonathan. wish me luck!
11 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

to my organ, who is gone [29 Apr 2008|02:18pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

dear appendix,

i will miss you on those cold winter nights, nights i will spend without you, lamenting your loss, remembering what we had. no one will ever replace you. i will never have another appendix, not ever. they always say you will find another, you will, this isn't the last, but god, i swear, i will never have another appendix.

Tyler: I guess if their is any form of silver lining it's you will never have to have your appendix out again, your relationship with you appendix is at a end, it won't be calling you in a month crying and telling you that you were the best body it was ever in...

no matter how much you tell me that you've changed, that you're not sick anymore, i will never take you back. i know there will never be another like you, never be anyone who takes your place, but i don't believe that you will ever change. you will never be right for me. you abused me. you put me in the hospital for three days. they had to give me a double dose of the medicine they give to chemo patients, and then an IV drip of it. my pulse was 144. oh appendix! i've never been in so much pain. not even dilauded could take away the pain you put me in, and that is 8 times stronger than morphine. do you know what that's like, appendix? i cried. i cried and cried. it hurt so much. i'm sorry, but we're over. we're done. you were never of any use to me anyway! what good were you for? did you ever do anything for me other than to hurt me? no.

it's over. but oh appendix, i didn't even get to say goodbye...

9 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[22 Mar 2008|12:56pm]
i will admit, i don't know my way. the forest is dense and the path once worn is thick with overgrowth. i abandon my gaze and let my footsteps take me. right foot, left foot, right, i trip over treeroots that braid through the ground, empty veins of the surrounding woods. i catch myself and feel the warm earth in my hands. brushing the dirt off my raw skin and banishing the fear in my chest i start over again.

the map is still folded in my pocket, creased brown with age. i pause for rest and read it over. i can see where they've been, but i forge my own way. closing my eyes i stumble awkwardly, right foot, left foot, right. every traveler has marked their own trail, but i step over the treaded leaves and seek fresher ground. the white stones hansel scattered glow brightly in the light of the sliver of moon, tears dropped delicately in the dust to illuminate my way. i smile at the care that was bound in every single one and step lightly over them. i hear the dry bones of branches snap under my feet, right foot, left foot, right. thank you i whisper to no one in particular, but i have to find my own way.

i've never been here before, but i walk with conviction and direction without the pause of disbelief. the world turns blue with the dawn and my quickened breath carves cold morning air into my lungs. the twisted sillouettes of the forest seem to draw closer, while the wind through the trees whispers its questions. of course i am scared i answer back, but i am home. i feel embraced by the branches, folliage cradling me gently and with unmeasurable care. though i am lost in a sense, i am not. i will mark my own path and draw my own map, just as you have. the morning cracks and breaks like a golden egg over the curved horizon. though the forest is dense and the path once worn is thick with overgrowth, i can still see the sun through the leaves, lighting my way.

i will admit, i am wandering. right foot, left foot, right, i stumble like the fool of the arcana. i balance precariously and grin to myself. i lock my fears in my head and fold the map in my pocket. i know i know nothing about this place i whisper to no one in particular, but i have to find my own way.

2 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

survey time! [01 Feb 2008|07:10pm]
stolen from ravennightworld

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) Favorite drink?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What eyecolor do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) What's your real name/nickname?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

26) Bottle or can soda?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

34) What will your grandchildren say about you to their children?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
7 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[19 Dec 2007|12:24pm]
oh my god. sweeney todd was fucking amazing. see it now (or when it actually comes out, if you didn't get prescreening passes like i did because i'm AWESOME.) also, go dressed up as though you are out of a tim burton movie. sandy and i did. i went with him and gina and simon, and it was the best thing ever.

spoiler alert: johnny depp does not have a hot makeout scene with alan rickman. DAMNIT.
4 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

seeing stars [14 Nov 2007|05:07pm]
i seem to be writing more in my myspace blog lately, so y'all should read that. i'm going to copy and paste, because i'm too tired to retype it. it was quite a night last night, but in the best way. michelle, amanda, and i went to sf to see the band stars.

after buying expensive train tickets, taking the amtrak and walking in san francisco in the cold, we finally found the club. it was sold the fuck out. should have known.

however, one of the sound guys spotted us and came back with 3 vip all access passes, for free. so after the stars show, which was one of the most amazing shows i've ever seen, we got to go backstage and to the afterparty and make fools of ourselves in front of the music industry people, the roadies, and the band. mostly there was a lot of standing in the corner and awkwardly sipping beer and wondering why there were so many containers of soup on the table and how they would go about consuming it (take tomato bisque shots, perhaps?) but in the end, we met a lot of interesting people who were very friendly, as well as some that were rather drunk and loud, but still fantastic.

the show would have been spectacular by itself. they're such accomplished musicians... i liked them, but i really had no idea how amazing they were. some bands you really don't know until you hear them live. the music just melts over you, and it's like the angels are singing. it was just what we all needed that day, a perfect moment when they whisper to you words that describe everything.
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finally, we've been rewarded for being stupid and unprepared.
3 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

fog and feathers [08 Sep 2007|09:06pm]
[ mood | ouch ]

my mind is swimming with a terrible headache. i can barely see what i'm writing. perhaps athena will jump out of my head.

last night was terrible. it seemed as though there were flies everywhere, feeding on everyone because they were all dead. everything was bloodstained and messy, and my heart beat so fast i thought it would crack. people were laughing and laughing and wouldn't stop.

and it's the first day i've felt well enough to venture back into the outside world. physically i mean, though i suppose mentally things have been better too. i went shopping today and took photographs.

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a grasshopper. he was a total myspace whore, posing and everything.

other pictures, some of me, some of other thingsCollapse )

ouch. headache. must go...

14 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

a day in the life of the pumpkins [31 Jul 2007|06:39pm]

that's billy in his hotel room, writing a song. if you watch the video, you might see a picture draped over the chair next to him. i drew that. i gave that to him. at best, i thought he might like it okay and put it in a pile with the gifts he has received, or glaced at it before handing it off to someone else to put it away. but there it is.

maybe it doesn't mean much, but it means something to me.

12 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

pumpkinheads [29 Jul 2007|09:13pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

so, 5 shows have gone by in a flash. i don't have much time for a real update so i'll just give some highlights:

1. catching billy's guitar pick, and michelle catching jimmy's when he played acoustic guitar on "zeitgeist."
2. having elina come from sweden to see the show with me, arriving at 6 in the fucking morning so we could be sure to be up front, and meeting him afterwards. if you remember, i asked billy during his solo tour to write a get well card for elina because she was in the hospital with the brain tumor, and he took the time to write it and was very sweet and sympathetic. i got to give it to her, and she's kept it with her. the cancer came back for the third time, but this time she got gamma knife radiation instead of surgery and regular radiation, and it hasn't come back yet, so apparently the get well card worked :) she thanked him for writing it, and he asked her if she was better, and when she said yes he smiled very sweetly and said "that's good!" i gave him a picture that i had drawn while in line, and tentatively said "i'd like you to have this, if you would please accept it." he said "of course, thank you" and then paused to look at it closely, and said, surprised, "wow, this is really nice! thank you" smiled, and nodded/bowed slightly, the way he often does. that's the only night i've seen him be receptive to fans and actually spend time, not just going "okay..." and looking creeped out/bored. i guess we're just very lucky to have such a special experience.
3. being interviewed for the official fillmore pumpkins dvd and making a fool of myself. watch for it, but try not to laugh too much. i'm not sure if i would be disappointed or relieved if i'm not on it. it's hard to sum up thoughts on the pumpkins when you have a mic on your shirt and a camera in your face.
4. meeting all the fans, making lots of new friends, being hit on shamelessly (okay, so maybe that last thing wasn't a highlight..)

i must go now, but i'll try to write something more later. all my love ♥

4 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

it's all because of you, baby [11 May 2007|01:43am]
exactly a year ago today, i tried to kill myself.
it is my proudest failure.

so you want us to write something on the cake?

yes... emily, happy anniversary since you tried to slit your wrists.

okay... so is that emily with a y, or two e's?

happy anniversary. i'm still here, and i love it. i fucking love it.
21 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

shhh [31 Jan 2007|06:37pm]
this idea was taken from psycho_peanut. i've done something similar before, but i thought it would be interesting to do it again.

post anonymously, telling whatever secrets you feel like revealing. i will turn of IP logging so i won't know who posted what. there will be no drama, no being rude to anyone because of the secrets they've posted.

3 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[25 Dec 2006|11:55am]
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merry christmas!
13 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

the wii [18 Nov 2006|01:13pm]
you might think the coolest place to be on a friday night was a bar or a dance club, but you'd be wrong. the coolest place to be on a friday night is camped out in front of a walmart in elk grove (duh.) and not necessarily because you are homeless, but because you are waiting in line with your brother to buy the wii.

what is the wii, you might ask? for all you n00bz out there (yea, that's right, i said it), the wii is the new nintendo system that is coming out that my brother sam has been waiting a billion million years for. he's watched all the conventions, trailors, played the sample systems the day they came out, read about it everyday, etc. he's been so fucking excited i was worried he might explode, sending little bits of person flying through the air. luckily that hasn't happened yet, but it's still a possibility.

last night we went to scope it out, since this is one of the only stores with a midnight release, and there were already people in line. so, we decided to camp out. thank god we went, because there are very few systems and they're all already called for. i wandered around the store in an ambien and nicotine haze as my mom tried to set up a tent and failed, and sam played gameboy and d.s. games with all his fellow geeks. the tent finally got set up (sort of) and we slept there until morning.

this is probably one of the most hardcore things i've ever done that i will brag about to everyone i meet.

me: yea, this one time i slept on the sidewalk in front of a walmart in order to get a videogame system.
person: who are you and why are you talking to me?

i'm not even getting one, nor do i care very much, but i'm just so fucking excited for sam, because this is pretty much his life. he couldn't sleep last night because he was just lying in the tent grinning like it was christmas eve.

this morning my mom and i drove home, but sam is still sitting and waiting until midnight tonight. we'll be back later, too, i just needed a bit of a break, because i want to change my clothes and my neck hurts like fuck.

i'm just glad sam doesn't care so much about getting the playstation 3, because riots have broken out, people have gotten shot, thrown hammers, been robbed at gunpoint, and they resold one for $10,000. insane.

bye for now ♥
14 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[31 Oct 2006|08:13pm]
i have to go, but i'll write more later (soon, hopefully), and perhaps some pictures too.

for now, happy halloween!
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2 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

hello [12 Sep 2006|09:40pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

hello all my lovely people. i will try to recount recent happenings but you have to bear with me because i'm a liittle bit drunk (that's the problem with drinking 90 prof like it's 80 prof.)

anyway, the bad news is my grandpa is in the hospital because of an accident. the part of his brain that deals with balance is damaged, you see, so he fell and broke his back. he's in a lot of pain and morphine isn't doing anything, but the doctors think he'll be okay. he'll be in the hospital for awhile and then at a rehab center, so let's all send him wonderful thoughts to make him get better. i hate seeing my mom so sad and stressed about this.

the good news is i just went to sushi with my friends, which was very nice. also, i've been moving stuff into my apartment, and it's really coming together. that's most of what i've been doing lately is getting all that set up. it will be really nice to move out, finally. i've wanted this for so long, and only now am i truly ready.

so here i am, drunk as a duck (?), eating apple sauce with cinnamon, hoping you all are doing well, because you mean so much to me.

thanks for reading. bye bye ♥

10 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

[13 Jul 2006|04:43pm]
[ mood | drained ]

alright, so my blood pressure was 70/40 (that means i got to ride in the wheelchair. yay)

my legs hurt so much, but i'm regaining back my mind. that's good i suppose.

6 chants| i will fear no evil, fear no evil

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